The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth.
In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes
during which the bass violinists have nothing to do.
Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid,
some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door
for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession (as bass violinists
are prone to do),
one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!"
"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist.
"I thought we might need some extra time,
so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with
It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."
A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall
and took their places in the orchestra.
About this time, a member of the audience
noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy
and said as much to her companion.
"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see?
It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are
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