"Down South" means Key West.
"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.
Flip-flops are everyday wear.
Shoes are for business meetings and church.
No, wait -- flip-flops are good for church, too, unless it's Easter or Christmas.
Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.
You measure distance in minutes.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
It's not soda, cola, or pop -- it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor: "What kinda coke you want?"
Anything under 95 is just warm.
You've hosted a hurricane party.
You go to a theme park for an afternoon and know when to get on the best rides.
You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.
You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, and Withlacoochee.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include:
various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.
You were eight years old before you realized they made houses without pools.
You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
You get angry when people say, "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH."
You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
You recognize Miami-Dade as "Northern Cuba." The south ends in the Ocala/Gainesville area, and then North Cuba begins.