Subject: Idiots... They Walk Among Us

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me
that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I
asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I
signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook
for Employees:  "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign
on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."  He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?"  I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?"  He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street.  I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if
I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals to blind people
when the light is red.  She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?"

Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due
to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun.  We should have
lunch like this more often."  Not another word was spoken.  We just looked at
each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for
the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered it  was open.  "Hey," I  announced to the
technician, It's open!"  I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that
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