Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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