Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him
to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The
cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were
Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?"
"67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.
"But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"
Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic
fashion, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"
The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire
and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never
seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What
kind of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a rectum stretcher!"
The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What the HELL does a rectum
Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched,
so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a
couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull
them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What
the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?"
Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at
the end of a bridge!"
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