10) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

9) Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

8) He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.

7) The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

6) McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

5) From the attic came an unearthly howl The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

4) She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

3) Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.

2) Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:\flw=2Equid55328com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw=2Equidaaakk/ch@ung by

1) Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

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