Good:  You and your wife agree, no more kids.
Bad:  Your wife can't find her birth control pills.
Ugly:  Your daughter borrowed them.

Good:  Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad:  You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly:  You're in them.

Good:  Your husband understands fashion.
Bad:  He's a cross dresser.
Ugly:  He looks better than you.

Good:  Your son's finally maturing.
Bad:  He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly:  So are you.

Good:  You give the birds-and-bees talk to your daughter.
Bad:  She keeps interrupting.
Ugly:  With corrections.

Good:  Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad:  She wants a divorce.
Ugly:  She's a lawyer.

Good:  The postman's early.
Bad:  He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK-47.
Ugly:  You gave him nothing for Christmas.

Good:  They've finally invented Viagra.
Bad:  It requires a prescription and is expensive.
Ugly:  Your wife's new admirer is a pharmacist.

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