Why riding a horse is better than having sex:

Horses smell better than men.

Horses don't feel the need to say stupid things that they think you haven't heard before.

Horses are happy to see you the next day.

Horses have better table manners.

You are not afraid to introduce your horse to your parents (or friends, coworkers...)

You are not embarassed to be seen with your horse in public.

If you get rid of your old horse, he does not slash the tires of your new horse's car.

If you get rid of your old horse, he does not call you, hang up (forgetting about *69) then deny he called and hung up. Duh.

Horses don't play golf.

Horses don't watch ESPN 24/7.

Horses don't spend the entire Wimbledon tournament channel surfing for glimpses of Anna Kournikova when the Williams sisters are battling it out.

Horses don't insist on going to Hooters for happy hour "because they have good wings." Yeah right.

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