Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Abbott said,
"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as
you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Abbott
said to him, "Brother John, you have been here 5 years now; you may
speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbott said. "We will get you a better

After another 5 years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You
may say another two words, Brother John."

"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the
food would be better in the future.

On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again called
Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."

"I quit," said Brother John.

"It is probably best," said the Abbott. "You've done nothing but bitch
since you got here."

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