Consumer Labels
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box):
Do not turn upside-down.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor
use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company,
I blame the parents for this one.)
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