1. "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know  I'm not
dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde." [Dolly Parton]

2. "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart woman with a dumb guy."  [Erica Jong]

3. "I want to have children, but my friends scare me.  One of my friends
told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything
that feels good for 36 hours." [Rita Rudner]

4. "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."  [Rita Rudner]

5. "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." [Wendy

6. "Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth." [Erma

7. "If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them." [Sue

8. "I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
[Roseanne Barr]

9. "I think -- therefore I'm single."  [Lizz Winstead]

10. "When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country." [Elayne Boosler]

11. "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." [Maryon Pearson]

12. "I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." [Gilda Radner]

13. "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
anything done, ask a woman."  [Margaret Thatcher]

14. "If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose
Catholicism because it at least has female saints and
the Virgin Mary." [Margaret Atwood]

15. "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and
a career."  [Gloria Steinhem]

16. "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." (Gloria Steinhem]

17. "I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every
morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late
at night."  [Marie Corelli]

18. "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." [Baroness Edith

19. "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your
neck?" [Linda Ellerbee]

20. "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house." [Zsa Zsa Gabor]

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