You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the

Job interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

Career won't progress beyond Senator from

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I
think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking

You can focus better with one eye closed.
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