What He Really Means

The Women's Ultimate Guide to what a man really means when he says something.

Have you lost weight? = I spent our last $60 on a cordless drill.

You need new clothes again? = You just bought clothes 4 years ago.

You look terrific = Please don't try on one more outfit.

Can I help with dinner? = Why isn't stuff on the table?

I got a lot done = Found Waldo in almost every picture.

I'm getting more exercise lately = I can't find the TV Remote.

I do help around the house = I put a towel in the laundry basket.

We share the housework = I make the messes, she cleans them up.

I'll fix the garbage disposal later = If I wait long enough you'll buy a
new one.

I've got my reasons for doing this = And I sure hope I think of some soon.

You're working too hard = I can't hear the TV over the vacuum.

"Uh huh," "Sure" or "Yes dear" = Nothing. It's a conditioned response.

I'm listening; got things on my mind = Is that redhead wearing a bra?

That's interesting, dear = Are you still talking?

Let's take your car = Mine's full junk and out of gas.

I'm not lost. I know where we are. = No one will ever see us alive again.

You know how bad my memory is = I forgot to...

Thinking of you and got these roses = The girl selling them was a real babe.

I brought you a present = It was free ice scraper night at the game.

I'm going fishing = Gonna drink myself stupid by a stream.

Hey, I've read all the classics = I subscribe to Playboy.

Go ask your mother = I'm incapable of a decision about that.

I can't find... = It didn't jump up and say "Here I am!"

What did I do this time? = What did you catch me at now?

She's one of those rabid feminists = She refused to make my coffee.

I missed you = I couldn't find a darn thing.

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